What is a Modern Man?

Three years ago, I was driving home one evening after seeing a client.

My chest started to tighten. It got worse and worse.

By the time I got home I thought I was going to die.

I managed to get out of my car and into the house but collapsed on the floor.

My wife, at the time, called the ambulance. My daughters were worried.

It made no sense. I was really fit and healthy, I was boxing competitively at the time and recently won a fight – yet here I was having a heart attack?

Or so I thought. Turned out to be a panic attack.

You see I was suffering from a huge amount of stress from running that business. Stuff I didn’t want to tell anyone about.

Financial difficulties mainly.

I kept it to myself because that’s what men do. Right?

I accepted I needed help

That’s when I discovered hypnotherapy. It changed my life. In addition to helping me with the presenting problem I took to my therapist, it also opened the neural pathways between my conscious and unconscious minds.  It felt like taking my brain to the gym.

So, I decided I wanted to learn more and studied it. I became a Master Hypnosis Practitioner and Master NLP Coach.

Once you connect to your unconscious mind you become acutely aware of yourself, your truth and the things that make you happy.  You also become less tolerant of the things that do not.

I had achieved the life goals of wife, kids, house, cars, dog etc but didn’t know where to go from there.  I questioned where those goals came from because they didn’t really feel like mine.

I began to learn the art of coaching by asking myself some tough questions.  The one that gave birth to The Modern Man concept was “What do I have to offer the world?”

Why?

When I looked around me, saw so many guys not really understanding what being a man means in today’s world.  Lacking in confidence.  Confused.  Not fulfilling their potential.  Not understanding how modern women want to be treated. Worst of all, not being able to communicate these feeling or having a space in which to do so.

When speaking with many men, I found a real distaste for the word masculinity and almost a fear to be described as masculine or male.  Insisting that we are all the same and that they don’t see any difference between men and women.

At our highest level of connection, we are all humans but to ignore our gender is, I believe, detrimental to our confidence and ability to truly love and except ourselves.

Countless men’s groups, forums and movements online and offline – fitness, relationships, business, wellbeing, mental health, but there was still space for something different…

What about the man who want to reconnect with the masculine but also be able to benefit from balanced energies? What about the man who wants to grow, to deepen his relationships, to be more honest but at the same time find a way to manage his challenging times?

There was space for something different.

As a coach, I work with men who have been through divorce, break ups, bereavement or who are having a “mid-life crisis.”  These events can lead to the type of negative behaviours that create poor mental health.  Drinking, smoking, drug consumption, isolation, sleeping around or even just staying up all night on the PlayStation.

I help them reconnect with their values, what’s most important to them, create a new long-term vision then plan the goals and create the habits they will need to get them there.

How did I get here?

Quite often men get to midlife and wonder how they got there.  We spend so much time in our conscious minds, paying bills, feeding kids, getting our work done etc that we neglect our inner selves.

This can result in self destructive behaviours, such as affairs or other forms of risk taking in order to create challenge and excitement in our lives again.

My coaching programs and The Club are designed to help move through these times in a more controlled and positive way.

Modernman.org.uk